Negotiating Equity Compensation: What Women Don’t Know to Ask For

When you get a job offer with an equity package, the number on the page can feel final. But negotiating equity compensation is just as normal as negotiating salary. You just need to know what to ask. Many women in tech accept the first equity offer they see, while candidates who know to ask often walk away with more. This post shows you exactly what to ask for, and why it matters.

Why Equity Negotiation Gets Skipped

Recruiters rarely explain equity in plain terms. They hand you a number of shares or a dollar value and move on quickly. Many candidates assume the number is fixed, so they don’t ask questions.

Women often face a real gap here, though it shows up more in outcomes than in effort. Women in tech hold less equity value overall than their male peers, even when they negotiate just as often. Part of the reason is that equity conversations use unfamiliar terms. Vesting cliffs, strike price, refresh grants can make people hesitate before pushing back.

You don’t need to become a compensation expert. You just need a short list of questions that reveal the real value of an offer.

What to Ask Before You Accept

Ask these questions before you sign anything:

• What is the current strike price or fair market value per share?
• Is there a one-year cliff, and what happens if you leave before it?
• Does the company offer refresh grants, and on what schedule? A refresh grant is a new equity award issued to existing employees, typically annually, to maintain retention value as your original grant vests. Asking about the schedule before you start tells you how the company thinks about long-term compensation.
• How does the company handle equity if it’s acquired or goes public?
• What is the fully diluted share count, so you can calculate your real ownership percentage? This figure includes the option pool, warrants, and any convertible notes. Currently issued shares alone is a much smaller and less accurate number.

Recruiters expect these questions. Asking them signals that you understand equity, not that you distrust the offer.

Who This Applies To

This section applies most directly to:

• Women joining a new tech company, especially at the mid-to-senior level, where equity often makes up a large share of total pay
• Anyone moving from a public company to a startup, where equity terms and risk look very different
• Candidates who received a verbal offer and haven’t yet reviewed the written equity terms

It catches people most often when they’re excited about a role and want to avoid seeming difficult. That instinct is understandable, but it can cost real money.

Real Examples

Here’s how this plays out in practice:

1. A senior engineer received an offer with 10,000 RSUs vesting over four years. She asked for a two-year refresh grant instead of waiting for the standard review cycle, and the company agreed.
2. One product manager negotiating a startup offer asked for the fully diluted share count. She learned her offer represented half the ownership percentage she expected, once the option pool and outstanding convertible notes were factored in.
3. A director-level candidate received two competing offers. By comparing vesting schedules side by side, she realized the lower-salary offer actually paid more in year one because of an accelerated vesting structure.

Action Steps

• Request the written equity terms, not just a verbal summary
• Ask for the fully diluted share count to calculate your real ownership percentage
• Compare the vesting schedule across any competing offers
• Ask about refresh grant timing before your first year ends
• Ask specifically whether the company offers double-trigger acceleration on a change of control. This protects your unvested shares if the company is acquired and your role is eliminated
• Bring your questions to the negotiation call, not just email. Real-time conversations often surface more flexibility

Common Questions

What is equity negotiation?
Equity negotiation means discussing the number of shares, vesting schedule, or grant type before you accept a job offer, the same way you’d negotiate salary.

Can you negotiate RSUs like salary?
Yes. Many companies have room to adjust the size of your RSU grant or add refresh grants. The vesting schedule itself is less commonly negotiable, but sign-on equity and acceleration provisions sometimes are.

What questions should I ask about a stock option offer?
Ask about the strike price, vesting cliff, refresh grant policy, and what happens to your options if you leave or the company is acquired.

How much equity is normal for a new tech job?
This varies widely by level, company size, and role. Compare the grant to the fully diluted share count rather than looking at the headline number alone.

Does negotiating equity compensation hurt my chances of getting the job?
No. Recruiters expect candidates, especially at senior levels, to ask clarifying questions about equity. It rarely affects the final decision.

What is double-trigger acceleration?
It’s a provision that speeds up your vesting if two things both happen: the company is acquired, and you’re terminated or your role changes materially. It protects you if a deal eliminates your position. Read more about double-trigger vesting.

To learn how equity fits into your broader financial picture, visit my Equity Compensation page. If you want a deeper walkthrough, download my Equity Compensation Playbook, or read RSU vs. Stock Options: What’s the Difference?

Note on the equity gap: while some older reporting suggested women simply negotiate less often, a 2024 study (Kray, Kennedy, and Lee) found no meaningful gender gap in negotiation frequency. The better-documented gap is in outcomes. Carta’s annual equity reports have consistently found women receive a smaller share of equity value than men, even at similar negotiation rates. This piece reflects that distinction.